AT THE WATER’S EDGE:

Mother’s Day can be a hard day. I think of the years I longed to be a mom, but wasn’t. The year after I lost a baby and my chance at biological children. And even now, rejoicing in the chance to be a mom, but tempered by the reality that I’m only a mom because someone else lost their opportunity to be a mom. It gives me a different sort of appreciation for the role that I play for my kids and a resolve to do it well — knowing that I mess up everyday, but that I can model how to make repairs, how to improve oneself and how to lean on God in our weaknesses.

It has been over three years of motherhood with our twins now. Much of it has been a whirlwind. Twin toddlers turned into twin preschoolers and the chaos has only gone down slightly. Some days are hard. Some days are really hard. But there are moments of pure joy, pride in who my kids are and are becoming, laughter and smiles, growth and progress. I thought it would be fun to reflect on the things that bring me the most joy in motherhood. In no particular order, here are three areas that spark joy in me throughout this motherhood journey.

1. Watching and helping them learn and grow

I have always had the heart of a teacher and I find such joy in helping my kids learn. Teaching my daughter baby sign language, then how to talk when she was two. Teaching my son huge vocabulary words as he started to talk so well at an early age. Teaching them about God and his love for them. Teaching them how to cook, about nature, how to take care of animals, how to love one another and problem solve. Teaching numbers and letters and now math and how to read. All of it. It’s fun to see something click and watch their progress. I like watching them take their knowledge and grow their confidence to try new things on their own. I love reading to them, too, and just snuggling up together with books. And now I begin a new chapter as I begin homeschooling, at least with my boy. It’ll be a challenge to finagle with my work schedule, but the traditional classroom has been hard for him so I decided to give it a shot. And somehow, instead of feeling overwhelmed, I’m feeling excited and energized — since teaching my kids is one of my favorite things to do anyways!

2. Seeing my kids come into themselves and their own personalities

I have to say, my kids’ personalities haven’t changed much since we first met them when they were two. Our girl is still full of joy and compassion, strong and determined, has big feelings and loves fiercely. Our boy is still a curious adventure seeker, clever, friendly and full of life and LOTS of energy! But watching them grow and develop and come into themselves has been a joy. Seeing how they interact with others and the world around them, how they use their gifts and abilities and how they are developing their interests — it’s all so fun! I am excited to see where their passions take them and to help them become the best versions of themselves.

3. Seeing their hearts for God.

Where to begin. Seeing these little ones learn to know and trust God is a treasure. The kingdom of God truly belongs to such as these. Seeing how quickly they forgive even after they just got into a giant fight with each other. Seeing their hearts for others and how they want to help others. Their love and compassion and innocence. Hearing their prayers and songs of praise. Listening to them recount Bible stories. The joy they find in the simplest of things. And seeing them trust in Jesus in the good and the bad. It fills my heart to the brim.

“When they see among them their children, the work of my hands, they will keep my name holy; they will acknowledge the holiness of the Holy One of Jacob, and will stand in awe of the God of Israel.”

Isaiah‬ ‭29‬:‭23‬

It’s hard not to see God in these little ones, and truly, I stand in awe.

Wherever this Mother’s Day may find you, may you be blessed!