June 16, 2017 marks our ten year wedding anniversary. Crazy. A whole decade of life, lived together. It hasn’t always been easy, but it has always been worth it. There is something about two imperfect people coming together and committing the rest of their lives to one another that is at once beautiful and a recipe for disaster and conflict. It’s a romantic thought: spending the rest of your days together. But the reality is that two people trying to merge their lives together is difficult. I I’ve been a conflict avoider my whole life, and so has Tom. So, it’s not surprising that we brought those patterns into our marriage. Avoiding conflict may make for the sort of relationship that looks great on the outside, but it means we aren’t dealing the inevitable differences, disappointments or failures. Over the years, we have learned the hard way that not having those conversations that *gasp* might lead to conflict, may only create greater issues down the road. Having the hard and uncomfortable conversations is what allows two lives to merge into one and creates the path for open communication so that we can truly do life together. Quality conversation, and yes, even conflict, can help each of us to become better people.
I want this to be a picture of our marriage. We rub off on one another, and, even when we clash, if we are constructive in our conversations, we can help shape one another into better people. I am a better person for having met Tom and for having lived with him for the past 10 years. Learning to see things from his perspective and to understand another’s point of view has helped me to be more open-minded, accepting and supportive of other people — even in disagreements. Our commitment to working through any challenges that come our way means that we’ve learned better communication skills that can also serve to deepen friendships, strengthen family relationships and even add value to our professional roles.
Happy Anniversary!
At the Water's Edge 
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